My love for pillows. Hmmm, I dont like all pillows, so lets get that out there first. But I do own a lot of pillows. Soft and Cushy or Ornate ones. I like neutral colored ones, but brightly colored since my couch is dark. The ones for my bed, need to be an earthy color, with mild brightness.

I am not really sure why I like pillows. It is just having something ultra-nice in a small package, and it remotely afforadable. I tend to sell pillows in my online hobby store. It is also one of the first things I sewed. When I can, I try to sew them. I often sew them as presents for my kids too. But, I am unable ot get to the machine this year due to remodeling.

I think I am oddly psychotic when it comes to pillows. When I get rid of old couches or chairs, I save the cushions to use later as floor pillows and such. I am not sure 'how' odd that might really be. I think it is, but I still do it.

Well that is my input about pillows.

from Equinox and Solstice

To the ancients, it appeared as if the Sun and Moon stopped in their flight across the sky—this is the longest night of the year and was a time of both anticipation and rejoicing at the Sun's rebirth out of the Goddess.

The Sun's representation as the male divinity, or celestial ruler, predates Christianity. As with other rituals and celebrations, the Church felt that by assimilating this holiday into the Christian beliefs, it would help convert those who still followed the Olde Way.

Symbolism of the Winter Solstice
The Winter Solstice marks a crucial part of the natural cycle. In a real sense, the sun begins anew its journey toward longer days, times of new growth and renewal of the world once again. In a spiritual sense, it is a reminder that in order for a new path to begin, the old one must end and that spring will come again.

The winter solstice is the longest night of the year and is said to be when the Goddess gives birth to the God. From here on in the year, the days will become longer as the god grows into his full strength.

Fire and candles are important to many pagan holidays, but especially so for the winter solstice, as the God of most modern pagan traditions is associated with the sun. The winter solstice is a time of feasting and celebration. Often trees are decorated with bright ornaments, a tradition going back to ancient Germanic peoples, who held the oak and the fir tree as sacred. The Yule Log, candles and mistletoe are all symbols of the winter solstice.

Burning the Yule Log
The term Yule stems from the Anglo-Saxon "yula" or "wheel" of the year. In ancient pagan ritual, the Yule Log was lit on the eve of Winter Solstice and burned for twelve hours. Later, the Log was replaced by the Yule Tree, but instead of being burned, it was adorned with burning candles.

Relationship to Christmas
Pagan holidays have influenced many Christian traditions, including Halloween and Easter. Yule, or the Winter solstice, is considered by many to be the reason Christmas is celebrated in December. Both Christmas and the Winter Solstice celebrate the birth of gods.

The selection of December 25th as a Christian holiday was first recorded in scholarly texts dating to 325 A.D., although the actual practice was first decreed in 274 A.D. by the Emperor Aurelian. Since the non-Christians viewed this time as the rebirth of the sun, it made sense for the Church to also mark this period as the celebration of the nativity of Christ. Curiously, the selection of the day appears arbitrary although mankind had long known how to calculate the solstices. One can only guess that, rather than shift the celebration each year, a regularly scheduled event was preferable—the old Roman desire for order never quite left the new faith.

Additionally, many of the pagan traditions have been adopted to celebrate Christmas. Burning a Yule log, hanging mistletoe, lighting Advent candles and decorating trees are all now part of modern Christmas celebrations.

I also use the Winter Solstice to give my friends their presents. I tend to give out handmade items for most years. It is my way of celebrating the Goddess and God among these holidays.

Well I managed somehow not to even go to sleep last night, but took an hour nap before the shopping entailed (because somehow I lost 4 rolls of packing tape and had to buy more to package the boxes I needed to mail today, yet didnt). Anyways, it was crazy. traffic, parking lot, inside the store. I always tend to forget everything I need. But I got the packing tape!

So my Christmas wish list
Bills paid off
A twice a month maid
More room in the house
Spending time in person with my friends
My house organized and cleaned
Problems with m children to be resolved and happiness restored
Not feeling frustrated all the time, so I can spend quality time with my kids
to bless my friends and family with joy and ease through their trials

So, we got back from the store, uploaded the car, packed up the groceries. I worked on the UCDB some more. I made a lot of headway tonight, I got several sections done and up ready for beta testing. So, Star Wars, DnD, Another Day all completed. I will be working on Dark Ages next, then NWoD. And once things are tested, the UCDB will be opening up soon.

Current Mood: dorky

1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
2. Go to http://images.google.com/ and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).
4. Put this in your own LJ so that I can do the same.

Current Mood: curious

Well sense no one wants to ask my thoughts on things, or much less listen to me on those things. I thought I would randomly pick things from my Interest catagory and talk a bit about them. So, Depression, was the one.

My interest in Depression, is a personal one. It is something I suffer from severly. Many do not know it about it as I have always tried to keep a smile on my face,, things focused elsewhere, or others at a distance from me. Even though crappy things have and still do happen in my life, it is not the source of my depression. I suffer from a chemical imbalance in which I simply do not produce the happy feel good bits that others do. I take medication that tries to micmic or stimulate those bits in order that I do not gut myself to an end. Do not feel sorry for me, I do not. Honestly, it would make me feel odd at best. I get it, no one wants their buds to feel as I have often have felt. It's a thing, a thing I live and deal with.

Now, it also interests me on an academic level. The Brain always has interested me. The way, chemicals are formed, moved, electricty is generated, and the information that is carried on that electrical current within that checmical bath of fatal despair to utter esctasy and everything in between. I understand that it is hard for most people to understand depression unless they have really been through it. And I do not mean to demean certain depressions, but some depressions are more serious than others. It is hard for some to understand why someone would cut themselves repeatedily, rip out their hair until they have bald spots, peel their skin until it bleeds. I will try to explain it as I have sense it.

Depression is this state where nothing is real but what lies just under the skin, this odd mixture of nothingness and pain. You can see outside of this area, but it is dark, distorted, sometimes a sense of pressure of insainty of a world that just doesnt make sense, and you do not make sense to them. It is where breathing is unnatural, moving is painful, and pissing on yourself makes sense in order to just feel something warm touching you. It is this state where wrong options makes sense, and the right ones never come to mind. It is where surreal is reality, where blood leaving your skin gives you a sense there is really something alive outside of this shell. It is where cutting or any sort of pain reminds you, you are indeed alive because you already feel dead, feel nothing, feel suicide is as natural as breathing.

It is a place where when you begin to even move, struggle to live or to fight, it feels like claws of a beast are ripping at your very soul. Where you wonder why you should even try, because the darkness is a familar place, unchanging, it has always seemed to be there, and it will always linger there (even should you find your way out). It is where the monsters, nightmares, all the bad and hurtful things disappear, because there... is nothing. It is this void of a place in between existing/unexisting worlds in which a depressed person stays. For me, as I see it, this is what we walk with each and everyday. It is our struggle, our fight, our hopes and failures. And personally, I hope you never really have to fully understand them, because if you did, it would also mean you would be walking that same line.

Current Mood: contemplative

Well I sent the past two days getting my ass kicked by sql and a star wars character sheet adder. Along with getting shot up with radioactive sugars to find out if my cancer has spread anywhere in my body. It made me feel ill for a few days and waiting for results. And I finally fixed, but not figured out what was wrong, the Star Wars sheet about an hour ago.

I've been bored. With no where to really play online, I've been considering some other places to play, some which make my stomach churn just at the thought of it. The Star wars game Im playing in has been on hold due to college finals and all.

So most of my timme has been watching educational shows which I adore and love, and could spend most of my life watching and learning from. I also work on Path of Adventures, trying to figure out what players need in a RPG Community, and trying to figure out a way to work that out for them. It seems to be coming together with most of the games with forums and chats set up and running. Banner Exchange setup. Resources page set up.

I have been working on the Universal Charater database, OWoD is in beta testing, Star Wars in Alpha testing, DnD and nWoD in planning stages. I have been wondering on if I should just open up the UCDB with just a few sheets ready or should I hold off until it is complete with main core of sheets. I figure the Deliria sheets will be the hardest to code in.

I hope to be working on the Character Journal project here soon. I have been asking for input on how to work it, set it up, and arrange it by the community. Then I can start to figure out how I would like to work the coding for it and get that set up and working properly.

So, Christmas is right around the corner. It is starting to feel a bit more like the holidays than it has in the past. But then again, this has been the first time in a long time I have been healthy enough to enjoy it. I even started drawing again. I drew a Fairy playing with an ornement ball that had my niece's name on it. She likes them. I still haven't mail out the packages that need to go out. Need to do that tomorrow and all. Maybe go pick up a gingerbeard house kit to build with the Fam and all.

I miss all my friends, both close by and afar, and even online. I wish you all Happy Holidays and a Wonderful and Blessed new year.

Current Mood: contemplative

I love Foamy. He always makes me laugh, even when he is bashing concepts I associate with (like medication). http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html Spread the laugh!!

So, I am bored out of my mind right now since I do not RP anywhere at the moment. (other than the StarWars game I am in, once a week). I mean I DO HAVE things I COULD be doing, but I dont want to do them right now.

I've been working non-stop on programming a special project for my latest project, Path of Adventures. Yeah it is a RPG gaming site, but I do not run any games. I have no desires to run a game, ST a game, or really play in any so called multi-venue chats.

I knew this time would come, where I would sort of tire of it all once again. Right now, I am finding some interest in non-WoD games, like Star Wars. But it is only once a week, and with the Holidays I tend to miss some of the nights for gaming which sucks ass.

So I am bored.

Happy Birthday hun... hope lifetreats you well. *hugs*

Well, I finally got around to it. One of my long term projects. And one of the things was something for Deliria I promised Phil a year or two ago at DragonCon. Well, I got close to it. *winks*

I have set up a RPG Gaming community called Path of Adventures. And on there, is a section devoted to the Deliria game. I hope to spread the news to existing fans and new fans and hopefully shed more light to a wonderful game system and book.

http://www.pathofadventures.com/deliria/

It is opened for unmoderated play (not ran by anyone) or set up to pick up moderated games (ran by someone). There is more information on the site.

I havent posted here in some time. I am doing well, still fighting my health situations. I will try to update this a bit more.

You have to check out this link if you have kids or pass it on to someone you know that has kids. I was damn shocked to see what was living close by and near so many schools.

http://familywatchdog.us/

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

shardoftruth's Halloween party:

chilipot dressed as a mummy.
daisiesinorange dressed as the Brady Bunch -- all of them.
danny_boy_zero dressed as a Level 2 fighter, and it suited them disturbingly well.
drag0nf1y dressed as something medium, but what, specifically, you can't tell, and it suited them all too well.
fftimberwolf dressed as John Adams.
grapesodadude dressed as a justice.
gurleym dressed as Dick Cheney.
justaday01 dressed as a new superhero: Composite Defender, and it suited them all too well.
kassael dressed as a grand organ.
mr_boom_boom dressed as Optimus Prime.
outputerror dressed as James King.
psychospastic dressed as a lucky witch.
redheadedwookie dressed as Martin Sheen.
satyrblade dressed as Jean Claude Van Damme.
scarybunnie dressed as a data entry section chief.
vicuris dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Amazing Bandit.
wickedangie dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense

Stolen from psychopastic

Redneck
1] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?: No.
2] Do you drive a four-wheeler? Yes.
3] Do you ride fourwheelers? No.
4] Do you like to get dirty? Yes.
5] Do you like country music? No.
6] Do you have a broken car in your back yard? No.
7] Do you own a cowboy hat? No.
8] Do you live on more then 2 acres? No.
9] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your house? Yes. 5 actually.
Total yes: 3

-Goth--
1] Do you wear black eyeliner?: Yes.
2] Is most of your clothing dark?: Yes.
3] Do you think about death often?: Yes.
4] Do you want to die?: Sometimes.
5] Are you a social outcast?: Depends.
6] Are you pale?: Yes.
7] Do you like Hot Topic?: Eh, I guess.
8] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies? Yes.
9] Are you mean?: Can be.
Total yes: 9

--Skater Punk--
1] Can you skateboard: Yes.
2] Do you wear Vans?: No.
3] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: Sometimes.
4] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?: No, never been caught.
5] Do you watch the x-games?: Sometimes.
6] Do you have any piercings?: Yes.
7] Do you like/wear mohawks?: Yes.
8] Do you wear Band t-shirts: Rarely.
9] Have you called someone a poser?: Yes.
Total YES: 6

--Prep--
1] Do you say the word "like": Yes, but oftem as sarcasim.
2] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch?: No.
3] Do you pop the collar?: No.
4] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?: No, but only when preps are there.
6] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?: No.
7] Do you like pop music: No.
8] Do you want/have a litte dog?: Yes.
Total YES : 2.

--Hippie--
1] Is your hair long?: N, not for a girl.
2] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?: Yes, BLACK *falls under Goth*.
4] Do You want to save the animals?: Yes.
5] Do you think war is unneccesary?: Sometimes.
6] Is love essential in your life?: No, but nice to have.
7] Have you smoked pot?: Yes.
8] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?: Yes.
Total YES: 4

--Gangsta--
1] Do you act ghetto: No.
2] Do you wear do-rags?: No.
3] Do you like hip-hop? : Sometimes, when it is good.
4] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: No.
5] Do you believe he's alive?: No.
6] Do you like afros?: No.
7] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?: Yeah.
8] Do you like to dance?: Yes.
9] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?: No.
Total YES: 3

--Emo--
1] Do you cry often?: No.
2] Do you wear hoodies: Yes.
3] Do you like soft music: Yes.
4] Do people misunderstand you?: Yes.
5] Do you write your own songs?: Yes.
6] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark: Yes.
7] Do you cut your hair: Yes.
8] Are you lonely: Sometimes.
9] Is Ohio for lovers? No. WTF??
Total YES: 7

Stolen from Danny Boy Zero

--Gutter Punk--
1] Have you ever beat someone's ass because they needed it?: Yes.
2] Have you ever been a resident in a Squat?: No.
3] Have you ever Spanged?: No.
4] Do you know what a "Squat" or "Spanging" is?: Yes and No, asked do now.
5] Do The Pogues and the Dropkick Murphys make good music?: Dont know and Yes.
6] Do you know the difference between a Boney and a Trog?: No, but I think I might.
7] Is Mickey's and cold pizza the best damned breakfast ever?: No.
8] Have you ever bathed in a public fountain?: Once, but it wasnt bathing.
9] Can you get good food from dumpster diving?: No.
Total Yes: 3.

Stolen from justaday01

--Surfer--
1] Do you surf? not really
2] Do you wear flip flops year-round?: no
3] Is your hair shaggy?: no
4] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?: no
5] Do you own any pairs of shorts?: yes
6] Are you tan?: no
8] Do you want to be at the beach right now?: no
9] Do you hate tourists?: yes
Total YES: 2

--Geek--
1] do you wear glasses?: yes
2] Do you get good grades?: yes
3] Do you use an inhaler?: no
4] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? no
5] Does your mom pick out your clothes?: no
5] Are you on the computer often?: yes
6] Do you ever get picked on?: no
7] Do you look forward to go to school?: yes
8] Are you shy around the opposite sex?: not usually
Total YES: 4

GET BUSY REPLYING!! what the things mean I have no clue.

( Click here to see! )

Well I have been harassed to get this, so here is my link

http://www.myspace.com/papercutdreams


If ya got one, add me.